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AN ODE To Microsoft

copyright 1997, Rex Ballard

In response to an familiar phrased

> > They have stated that when Win2K is released,
> > they will roll out Hotmail on Windows2000/IIS 5.

The old familiar chorus:

But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.

Of course the verses go something like.



(Copyright 1999,2009 Rex Ballard - released under terms of the GPL).

Feel free to post this on the BBS of your choice :-)
Windows was announced, 
to be out by the Winter snows. (snow in Seattle?) 
Through the big show and the demo,
everybody dosed.
But Billy made the keynote speech,
and said "well get it right"
So PLEASE don't spend
all your money on UNIX tonight.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
New Technology (NT) was announced, 
to be out by the sunny days (sun in seattle?>
They hyped in and they promoted,
in so many ingeneous ways.
But with all those nifty promises,
so bold, and so arrogantly brash,
when we finally got the real thing home
all the darn thing did was crash.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
Billy made the keynote speech,
he promised "plug and play".
And no one got all that impressed,
Linux already had it anyway.
It came out with new bundleware,
they called it "an extension",
but everybody knew,
it was Netscape and Linux prevention.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
At the keynote Bill said "trust me",
can a Billionaire be wrong?
You'd think those people had never heard
this familiar Bill Gates song.
They ported all their web sites,
and servers to 4.0
But when the budgets ran sky high,
the CEO said More? NO!!!
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
At the summer billy keynote.  
Billy made a spectacular scene.
But what the people liked the most
was that pretty big blue screen.
Billy said we no it's buggy,
and we know it's very late
But you get every thing you've
ever wanted, in Windows 98.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
So Billy, getting frantic said
we'll call it Win2K,
Tell 'em any thing you want
Just keep those UNIX folks at BAY.
Billy called in all his boys
and said "we've got to get it right"
'Cause folks have bought and
loaded that Linux "thing" tonight.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
Billy got out Win2K,
but something was very funny
corporates promised NT 5.0 
weren't paying any money
So Billy told his gang
some profit there must be,
so he added a dummy firewall
and called the thing XP.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
The corporates like 2K so much
that XP they did not buy.
So Bill sent the ultimatum
Upgrade to XP or Die.
The Corporates were not happy
after paying for XP
to find out thet averybody else
was getting the same for free
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
To fight off Linux and it's friends,
Billy issued SP2
It broke so many applications
that IBM said this will no do.
Billy called his buddy Daryl
Who'd taken SCO
funded up the lawsuit
for IBM's big dough
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
Billy touted Longhorn
filling Linux fans with fear
then pulled so many features
that Longhorn was a steer.
They then renamed it Vista
but it should have been mirage
With some much extra hardware
it was game machine garbage.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
Billy's gone to give away
The new boss now is Steven
With Vista sales lagging
the vapor is windows seven.
While Linux running small and light
still puts up a nasty fight.
But we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.
All the Vaporware from Microsoft
Made the Pundits Scream and Shout
And we'll all, go to heaven,
when the next release comes out.