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	Rex Ballard - Director of Electronic Distribution
	http://cnj.digex.net/~rballard

> From: Monica M Hoeft 
> You wrote: 
> >From: Wayne D. Martin 
> >
> >Monica
> > They intend to steal over half my pay check and thus my
> >relationship with my daughters.
> > I'm hittin the street.  What are the proper picketing
> > rules and pitfalls. > >
> >                Wayne
> >>
> >>
> 
> By saying "intend", does that mean it hasn't happened yet? First of all 
> I would fight tooth and nail in court for custody.  use your laws.  
> Most family laws have clauses that say they "SHALL" consider, as one of 
> the factors in awarding custody, who is best able to provide for the 
> child. PROVE YOUR ASS OFF!

Has she ever been in therapy?  If she has ever expressed a desire to hurt 
the kids, the LSW, MSW, or PHD is required, as a condition of their 
license to report it.  GET THOSE RECORDS.

Has she ever been in any sort of trouble with the law?  Has she ever been 
in trouble with other authorities (hint: check school records).  Has she 
ever been drunk in public.  Has she ever used drugs?  Has she ever been 
in a drug treatment facility.

GET THE SAME INFORMATION ABOUT YOURSELF!  Don't give your lawyer any 
surprises.

TURN THE ENTIRE SET OF RECORDS (on her) OVER TO SOCIAL SERVICES!

Expect her to do the same to you (her lawyer will advise her to do so).

The kids may end up with her parents for a while, but you will have a 
chance at getting custody.

By the time she's come to the negotiating table, she will be much more 
interested in keeping the kids out of foster homes than keeping them away 
from you.

You are fighting for your children's lives.  Do you want them growing up 
thinking that the way to "Make it" in life is to screw a man for 
child-support?  Do you want your son to grow up believing he is a 
worthless scum-bag whose only value is the "support check".  Do you want 
him to be raised by the local child molestor?

>  Say in open court as well, how demeaning it 
> is for you to have to sstand there and prove your worthiness, while she 
> is automatically assumed to be worthy.  Are you the bigger breadwinner? 
> Well then use that as you being able to better provide for the child.  

WATCH OUT!  If you loose custody - they will use everything you say 
against you in the child-support hearing.  You will not know until after 
both hearings what the verdict is on custody.

> Supply as well a liberal visitation proposal.  Chances are she'll come 
> empty handed.  You'll look better.

If you don't think you can prove that she is an immediate danger to the 
children, create a settlement!   Put some contingency plans into place.  
Clauses like:

If, for any reason, either the custodial parent or any agent of any 
government agency determines that they are no longer able to properly 
care for the children, custody unconditionally and irrevokably reverts to 
the (NCP).  She may get custody but a clause like that puts the "Sword of 
Damocles" over her head.

If you don't get custody, offer to pay an extra 1% on the condition that 
there be no increases based on increases to your income.  This 
"Insurance" is valuable, especially if you have to become a contractor or 
consultant to make ends meet.

Include clauses that prevent her from leaving the state or moving
jurisdiction without your consent (women often go to other states where 
the variations on the law work in their favor).

Include a clause that allows you to deduct the cost of travel for 
visitation (you can put the kids in a small town where it's safe and 
rents are low, while you work in an area where pay is higher).

These little "traps" are easily sprung, they can save you a fortune, they 
protect you from some huge liabilities, and give you an excellent second 
shot at custody later.

The judge will ask you if you find these terms unconciounable.  DO NOT SAY
NO.  Tell him you do consider them unconciounable, you are following the
letter of the law.  Then submitt a written statement of every abusive act
your wife has committed against you, including threats to "take you for
everything you've got".  He will read the apeal and your ex will not have an
opportunity to rebutt until he has seen the entire litiny of offenses (dates,
times, circumstances, witnesses...).  He, or she, will begin to question your
ex, under oath. If she denies everything, the judge will want to know why you
are letting her go.  You will have the list of witnesses in the written
document. The document will be included in the transcript. 

You want to make a case for fraud, blackmail, and extortion.  These are 
all ingrediants of a failed marriage or you wouldn't be willing to turn 
over 1/2 of your paycheck without being subjected to criminal proceedings 
(Jury of your peers, proof beyond a reasonable doubt,...).

The Judge will accept the settlement, but the transcipt will be an 
effective defence against any attempt to force you to make payments.
Think of it as the equivalent of the military "obeying an order under 
protest".

------------------------------------------------------------------------

For those who haven't done so, have your lawyer file a motion to include 
your list of grevances in the transcript.  It won't change anything, but 
it will give you legal grounds and court records for contesting criminal 
proceedings if they are ever filed.  The jury and appellate judges will 
see your grevances along with the settlement.

> Then get connected up with local fathers groups in your area. You 
> should all jointly show up at each others hearings and learn to work 
> the system.  Find out about pending bills in your state and get the FAX 
> numbers from your representatives. 

Finally, pay a little extra once in a while, for christmas, birthdays, 
and emergencies - then file 1099 gift contributions against her or her 
boyfriend/husband.  Not only do you get the tax-deduction, it screws up 
any "supplementary aid" she may be receiving from elsewhere.

> For picketing, go to your county clerks office and ask for the county 
> ordinances. If you are on a public street in a business district, like 
> in front of the courthouse, it's usally public access, you can do what 
> you want, as long as you don't inhibit anyone's freedom of movement.  
> Write up some leafletts, and hand them out to fathers leaving the 
> courthouse.  Chances are they got screwed too.  Then you can create 
> your own force and network.
> 
> ideas will come to you as you get more into this stuff
> 
> 
> Monica
> 
> 

From rballard@cnj.digex.net Mon Feb 26 14:13:23 1996