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On Thu, 8 Feb 1996, fathers wrote:

> 
> 
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> Date: Thu, 8 Feb 1996 16:58:31 -0600 (CST)
> From: Wolfgang Hirczy 
> To: fathers 
> Subject: The Criminalization of Conjugal Relations - Next step
> 
> Now it's not just (oxymoronic) marital rape, but soul murder
> Thesis: Injury to the body (of a woman) is nothing compared to
> injury to the soul (of a woman)
> 
I would like to point out that there are other victims of rape who are 
never addressed:

  The husband who might accidentally trigger a flashback
by a comment or an event.  Every time my wife saw me have an orgasm, she 
would have flashbacks for a week.  I couldn't even masturbate.  At night, 
her nightmeres would have her hitting me in her sleep.

The male children of a mother who has been raped.  By the time I was 2 
years old, I didn't know who my real parents were.  Mom's flashbacks 
would have her in the psychiatric hospital.  The trauma of the rape was 
intensified by her strict fundamentalist upbringing.  Her father would 
beat her with a belt for going to a dance.  If Grandpa knew that his 
little girl had been raped, he would have hated her for the rest of his 
life (or so mom thought).

Men who fall in love with women who have been raped get the "double 
Whammy".  The rape victim often has such hate for men that she won't 
"Fuck her Friends"  (pressler act?).  She will have sex with a man she 
hates and make sure she never gives him his heart.  She will not be able 
to have sex with a man she loves, because it would make her hate him too 
much.

Most prostitutes are rape victims.  For them, prostitution is a way to 
get even with men.  They can make money and be vicous about making him 
climax before he wants to and throwing him out of the room when they lose 
control.  Many prostitutes get a kick out of humiliating men who aren't 
into bondage or submission.

The equivalent of rape for Men is "Blue Balls".

> A letter to the editor of the New York Times by the Director of and an 
> intern at the "National Clearinghouse on Marital and Date Rape":
> 
> Your Dec. 6 news article on the conviction of a husband for
> raping his wife may prove unnecessarily discouraging to victims.
> Convictions are not rare if the cases are prosecuted.

I can see it now.  As I said before, the equivalent "Rape" of a man is to 
give him "Blue Balls", to get him sexually aroused and deliberately and 
abusively deny his sexuality.  This isn't a kinky dominatrix who is going 
to tease you before she pleases you, this is a hard-core sadist who gets 
her revenge on the whole of mankind by tormenting her rapist in effigy.

This is the woman who will wear the most seductive outfit she can find, 
go with her husband to a cocktail party, and totally humiliate him and 
castrate him socially in front of her girl-friends, then go over to a 
gathering of men and start flirting and giving out her phone number.  If 
she can find her husband's most bitter rival, she will seduce him on the 
patio, so that her husband can be fully aware of his wife's ability to
make love.  Of course, if the rival tries for round 2, she'll charge him 
with rape.  The first one's free, the second one will cost you everything!

I once dated a woman who warned me that it would cost me "your balls in 
the morning".  I found out later that she wasn't kidding.  On several 
occaisions, she would get dressed and just before leaving, wake her "one 
night stand" up by crushing his balls in her bear hands.

I knew another woman who would wake him up by "going fishing".  Something 
involving handcuffs, condoms, and fishing tackle.  It doesn't take much 
to imagine the rest.

Each of the women described is real, has acted out in the manner 
described several times, and have spoken about it in the presence of 
officers of the court, officers of the law, and licensed social workers.
A man who openly bragged of such abuse would be facing 60 to 80 years in 
prison.  These women got laughter from both women and men.

When Loreena Bobbitt performed her "home cooked sex change", I was the 
only man who smiled (I'm not terribly attached to my 
masculinity/Machismo).  On the other hand, almost every woman I knew 
thought it was a great think.  Loreena was Aquitted, John was convicted 
of abuse, given a punitive divorce settlement, and was put under a 
restraining order.  I guess they were afraid he had so much fun the first 
time that he might want to come back for more.

When a man rapes a woman, he rapes a hundred other men along with her.  
The men at the bar will brag about how many women they fucked.  I have 
yet to hear such men brag about how many times she came.  I want one of 
these "studs" to bay a percentage of my child support.  I wanted one of 
these "studs" to marry my ex-wife (she was too smart for that, she 
married another "nice-guy").  I used to introduce them to Michele and 
Mary, knowing they would be hamburger or "fish bait" by the end of the 
week.

I taught them the most dangerous weapon of all -- unconditional love.  
With it, one was able to "inherit" $250,000 of her new husband's 
"settlement" (if she testified to what a great lover he was, he would 
lose it all).  The other woman used it to drive her lover into taking 
a swan-dive into the New York State thruway.  The men would experience 
unconditional love and later, when they triggered the "rape-hate" 
reaction in these women, they realised they could never have access to 
that kind of love again.

>      In judge or jury trials, the national conviction rate is 88
> percent, thanks to education of the public over the last 20 years
> and to law enforcement by battered women's and anti-rape
> movements.

The prosecutors are much more careful about who they charge.  When a 
woman reports a rape, she qualifies for victim's assistance programs and 
councilling.  Often, they come to terms with the situation, and choose to 
live happy successful lives rather than hating themselves, the system, 
the law, and men - because he was aquitted or given too little a 
sentence.  They don't understand that if the man spends one night in 
jail, the guards will make sure he as a very large, very strong, very 
crazy, and very GAY roommate who gets his kicks out of raping guys like 
him (because the roommate is a rape victim as well).

>      Though you say that "in all but a few cases, the men are not
> convicted, often because the woman decides not to pursue the
> case," this does not credit New York's excellent domestic
> violence and sex crimes units nor its witness aid services unit,
> which sticks by victims who are afraid to testify.

Again, the victim's service unit is very effective at the victim from her 
obsession with getting revenge for the past, into a passion for living 
into a wonderful future.  Wars are started and perpetuated by men and 
women obsessed with revenge.  Peace is what happens when both parties 
commit to a hopeful and promising future of abundance, love, and 
prosperity.  The "Cold War" was ended because people saw the possibility 
of prosperity through cooperation and trade.

>      In this case, a man was convicted of rape, sodomy and sexual
> abuse all in the first degree, plus second-degree assault. His
> wife's ankle-breaking in the attack was incidental to the horror
> and trauma of the rape;

As a man, and the victim of a rape, I concurr with that opinion.  At 
least I had the consolation of being morally right, of knowing that the 
homosexual who raped me would have to suffer the consequences of his 
lifestyle.  He probably died of AIDS.  Fortunately, I was also able to 
let go of the past, focus on being of maximum service to God and to 
Others, and to live for the promise of a brighter future.  This is the 
way of life for men.  It is a foreign concept to women.

When did learn this powerful form of forgiveness?  When they would have 
those horrible fist-fights and end up the best of friends 2 days later.

Men bruise with their fists, and become friends later.  Women kill with 
thier tongues, and pretend to be their victim's lover or best friend.
While many men evenually outgrow their violence (through maturity), the 
woman only becomes more artful and subtle.  If she wants to keep a man 
"in the box" in case her current beau doesn't work out, she can tell her 
friends (male and female) that he's gay.  If she wants deeper commitments 
from her lover -> husband -> father of her children -> mortgage 
guaranteur -> "partner" in business... she knows how to use words of love 
and seduction.  When she wants it all for herself, she knows how to look, 
dress, and act to seduce the judge into giving it to her, without ever 
even suggesting actual seduction or sex.

The most dangerous of all women?  The women who have been raped.

> the physical injury will heal long before
> the psyche will.

I know women 70 years old who still carry the hate caused by a rape that 
happened while they were 18 or 20.  I knew one woman who stipulated that 
"no male for the next 5 generations" was to receive any of the proceeds 
of her inheritance.  Such wast the bitterness 70 years after her rape.

>      Signs at vigils tell us "rape is soul murder." The guilt of
> rape consists in outrage to the person and feelings of the
> victim, not physical injury. Think about it.
> Laura X, Elizabeth Peterson, Berkeley, Calif., Dec. 6, 1995 

As the preceeding portions of this posting show, I can concurr with the 
concept.  The problem is that innocent men are hurt in the process.  
Good Men have become so sensitized to the rape and harassment issue that 
they are afraid to ask a woman if she is even interested.  This of course 
leaves attractive women who don't want to be too agressive as easy prey 
for the most agressive men - the ones most likely to rape.

Look at the language used to describe the following:

A strong, aggressive, (potentially abusive) man:
	Stud, Hunk, MAN, Gorgeous Guy, Real Man, Bold Man, Powerhouse...

A gentle, sensitive, considerate male capabile of unconditional love:
	Wimp, Sissy, Fag, Nerd, Wierd, Nuts, Gutless, Spineless...

A gentle, sensitive man trying to act masculine:
	Jerk, Loose Cannon, Flake...

So we get the attractive woman, who thinks she can have any man she wants 
come to her just by wearing the right clothes and showing a nice smile to 
the right ones.  The ONLY ones she will get this way are "Studs" and 
"Jerks", and she won't even give the "Wimps" the courtesy of a smile.  Or 
it will be one of those "Marketing Squint-Smiles" that keep him from 
seeing into her soul.

This type of woman gets lots of "press", before, during and after the 
courtship.  The beatings are quietly ignored until it's time for the 
divorce court.  Suddenly these beautiful women are filling the tabloids 
with the "He done me wrong" stories.  The women who are overweight or 
unconcerned with their appearance feel vindicated - they buy these 
stories and read them for catharsis.  So to the nice men who "didn't 
stand a chance".

Because the legitimate press gives it so much press that it becomes 
reality.  Suddenly every man, including nice, loving, caring, gentle man 
are rapists and wife-beaters.  Suddenly it becomes imparative to punish 
these evil men through divorce laws and custody judgements.  Obviously, 
only real creeps would end up getting divorced in the first place, right?

The problem is that the economic punishment is so severe, the restitution 
so lucrative, and the benefits to the victim so tempting, that suddenly 
good, responsible, loving men are judged under the same law.  Because due 
process was circumvented in the name of expedience and the best interests 
of the children, the man is "Convicted" without the benefit of a Jury, a 
public defender, economic rights, the resources to contest.

In many states he is told that by admitting to "irreconcilable differences",
that he will be set free of the marriage.  How many men would voluntarily
confess to this crime if they knew that the very next act of the judge would
be a "Sentence" of 20 years at forced labor, that he would be left with only
the absolute minimum required for subsistance level survival. 

Most men know that this is the case by the time they reach the 
courtroom.  What sort of torture and brainwashing would have a man 
willing to openly and publicly confess, without even the right to make a 
case for mitigating and extenuating circumstances that would merit 
leniency from the Judge.  (Under Colorado's No-Fault divorce, the ONLY 
statement you can make is that you have "irreconsilable differences".
You can't say she's engaged to be married in 2 weeks, you can't say that 
she blackmailed you for 9 years, and you absolutely can't say that she 
refused to have sex with you 364 times/year.

> Source: "When Husbands Rape: Cases of 'Soul Murder'" NYT 12/10/95
>
	Rex Ballard - Director of Electronic Distribution
	http://cnj.digex.net/~rballard




From rballard@cnj.digex.net Sun Feb 11 17:09:42 1996