Subject: Re: I am empowered by everything you say and do.I am empowered by everything y From: SGross9577@aol.com Date: Tue, 21 Jul 1998 22:32:04 EDT

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PEX-ers

Its been one hell of a week or so since the last weekend...by coincidence or
not my life; who I am, has shifted...and in ways I didn't plan or expect...its
not necessarily a good or bad thing...it just is...

Probably most compeling for me is that I'm taking off from my job; the job
I've had in one way or another since 1983...the job that supported me through
the 80's and 90's; my "fatherhood" years; now at 42 years old I'm suddenly
into the Grandfather Years and like a goofy geezer I'm just taking off for
parts unknown, playing jazz, sitting on the roof top of my apartment building
watching the sunset, grabbling with alternative health modes, seeking out the
nefarious and provocative in the ever gropping New York scat, stopping the bus
and getting off...walking out the front door ...

Most of the time I can't believe it myself...and often I have no idea what I'm
going to say next...Not like a Tourettes thing, more of a I'm-not-so-attached-
to-what-I-might-say thing...if I knew what I would say...

So, I'm looking for what will show up...under what I can only ascertain is
different circumstances...real different circumstances...Its time to stop the
bus and get off...look around a bit...see what's up...Now, I have plans
....sort of...but can't see myself so stuck on those plans...I will say that
I'm tired of the day-to-day money thing...especially the 9 to 5 chase...I
realize that's probably un-American...but there it is...I just have the
feeling to do what I like to do...which is mostly blues/jazz music and
building communities...and doing a little Tai Chi on my roof............

I kind of like my roof...although its not exactly "my" roof as about 120
people live in this building...but I never see anyone up here on the
roof...which is odd to me as we have such a great western view...

I've been writing tunes steadily for about three years...about things I like
to sing about...and I've noticed I tend to "live" in each new tune until the
next new tune comes along... I mean the story in the song seems to show up in
my life like life imitiating art...About a week ago I wrote this line...

Now listen to this...
My mouth may squawk and balk
and hollar at eternity
mistake a muskrat for a tree
a mosquito for a sudden wish to please
Please tidy up 
that ill at ease
attempt to flee...
to flee to what?

As naked as we think we are
we always have a stitch
and that's the secret of our nervousness...
*********

and having wrote that and sung it a bit...it keeps showing up...and I keep
walking on ... and someday eventually into the next tune...

SETH

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